| Looks like my dry cleaner missed a spot..or some bird just pooped on me. |
| I know i've got that bribe around here somewhere. --from viewer Bryant, NJ |
| One more way to keep journalists away from a press conference: Shove the chairs up against the door. --from viewer in TX |
| I can't believe this! I finally meet Oprah and I can't find my autograph book! --from viewer in TX |
SHE: What a momentous occasion - actually meeting with THE Leader of the Free World!
HE: How the heck did navel lint get in this pocket? --from viewer in TX |
| Dubya always wears his lucky Spiderman undies on special occasions, but he sometimes forgets to zip up. --from viewer in TX |
| WOW! A complimentary pocket protector with the Royal Seal! I gotta score some of these for my body guards! --from viewer in TX |
| Can you hear me now?...Speak up! I can't hear you! Testing..one..two..three. Is my hidden mic on? How will I know what he says to me? --from viewer Sandy, Phoenix |
| "I thought Laura said she put a note in here with this nice lady's name . . ." --from viewer in TX |
| America's Royalty? He looks about as regal as Bart Simpson in the back pew on Easter! --from viewer in TX |
| Hello Karl. Karl? Can you read me? What the Hell do I do now! --from Angelo, San Francisco, CA |
| "Now I know firsthand why most Americans didn't vote for him!" --from a viewer in TX |
| "Did he actually say his wife used to be a Liberian, so he knows what a tough job I have? What a dufus!" --from a viewer in TX |
| The world would be a better place if Bush was vice-president of Chad. --from viewer Lee, Alhambra, CA |
| Are they Medals on his chest? Since when did America start giving medals for other peoples blood? --from viewer in PA |
| Well Ma'am nowadays our country ain't dat diff-rent ta yars...as a matta a fact I got a copy of our new consta-tution right here... --from viewer Frank, Mildura, Australia |
| I just bestowed upon him Liberia's highest honor, the priceless Medal of All Things Good and Noble Under the Sun, and he's stuffing it into his pocket with that hor d'oeuvre he palmed earlier? --from a viewer in TX |
| She pinned it right into the nipple. I always wanted to have a piercing. --from viewer in WI |
| Oh my God! The more I try to wipe off the coke (cocaine), the BIGGER the spot gets! --from viewer Kate, Newport News, VA |
| Laura said she put cookies in here. I don't see no damn cookies! --from viewer Wayne, Archer, FL |
| Hey, I've just found my lunch --from viewer Rob, Lakeland, FL |
| Liberia's "Iron Lady" ruins her country's chance for US-backed humanitarian aid, by showing no interest in Jenna's wedding photos! --from viewer in Texas |
| I haven't worn a sash since I was a cheerleader. --from viewer Tom, Middletown, OH |
| Where did my darn business cards go? --from viewer Jimena, Los Angeles, CA |
| "Well, if she's not gonna talk to me, I'll just pull out my Game Boy."--from a viewer in Texas |
