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Anti-Donald Trump Limericks

Please submit your limerick to add to our collection. Make sure to include any information you want us to use to credit your submission and check the box to let us know to do that. [You must disable any pop-up blockers to submit your limerick to us or use our contact form to do that.] You will want to visit the Poet's Corner to check out their collection of Trump limericks.

This collection now contains over 200 Trump and Trump-related limericks and will keep expanding with new ones at the top.

NEWDownload and play for free our new, original, and nasty Trump tune called Bad Trump using lyrics from our own Trump limericks.

Trump spoke about a "word" of nations
To a "world" with lowered expectations
It's clear he can't read
A major problem indeed
And now we're all out of patience.

They sacrifice for the "furniture" of their kids
Did he mean: high chairs, strollers, and cribs?
Again Trump mis-spoke
His grammar's a joke
Explains why his approval's on the skids.

A beautiful tax cut for Chistmas his goal
Putting the deficit into a big hole
Only the very rich will gain
All the rest will feel pain
For Christmas we'll get a big lump of coal.

Russian prostitutes went to Trump's suite
To perform an abnormal feat
They peed on a bed
Like the dossier said
He's our "Leader of the Pee World", we tweet.

While in China, Trump the fop
Well known as Mr. Malaprop
Hailed a Rexis and a Rincoln
Which got his staff thinkin'
Does he require a verbal cop?

Roy Moore hung around Gadsden Mall
To young girls saying, "Hi! Ya'll!"
Now a rabbi and a preacher
Have defended this creature
There's a special place in Hell for them all.

He skulked around Gadsden Mall
To young girls saying "Hi! Ya'll!"
No escaping his perversion
For young ass that was virgin
Which to Roy Moore meant "urban sprawl".

He claimed China gave him a cataract
Then boasted of his no free trade act
He bought a Rexis and a Rincoln
Which got his staff thinkin'
Are we sure Trump didn't mean "Cadillac"?

To Democrats his tax bill he shilled
Claiming if passed "he'd get killed"
But no wealthy will suffer
Including the "Orange Duffer"
So if he'll die, pass the bill, be thrilled!

God spoke to Judge Roy Moore
Cause pedophilia he could not ignore
"Thou shalt not grope
You fake pious dope
The entrance to Hell's through that door!"

When Trump went to Beijing
He was received like a king
He came to barter
But Chinese are smarter
So he didn’t accomplish a thing.
--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump stood on The Wall
Exclaiming: "Is this all?
Mine will be bigger!"
It made Xi snigger:
"Brains are not given to all!"
--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump Steaks were branded for the elite
Something only a carnivore would eat
But after Mueller's decision
And Trump now in prison
He can only beat his own meat.

Harvey Weinstein created a mess
That Fox News couldn't address
Because of Ailes and O'Reilly
They had to act slyly
To avoid being hypocrites, I guess....

The Whitefish company was dinky
When it got help from Ryan Zinke
Their contract was no-bid
To fix the power grid
But now that whole deal looks stinky.

While confined to his daycare nursery
With knowledge only cursory
Trump was overheard to state
"Isn't it just great!
I've never seen such 'diversary.'"

Trump said he belonged in Mensa
But to Tillerson it made no sensa
So between me and you
The Donald's IQ
Is even lower than Mike Pence's.

While working in the White House
Gen. Kelly continued to grouse
With an old pussy-grabber
And notorious back-stabber
He'll never be able to de-louse.

An "empty barrel" was the term he used
For a congresswoman that he abused
Gen. Kelly's a shmuck
Willing to pass the buck
For a President with a short fuse.

A "fucking moron" was the phrase he used
A label that was not abused
Tillerson spoke the truth
Even though uncouth
About the President who wasn't amused.

The National Rifle Addiction
Is not a new affliction
With deaths in the millions
And costs in the billions
For Trump's Congress a Benediction.
--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

When Donald wanted sex she would scoff
Or pretend to have a really bad cough
What's Trump to do
When Melania won't screw
And his hands are too small to jack-off?

No one should act surprised
That Trump is widely despised
Now the NFL
Can't stand his smell
Which can no longer be disguised.

White supremacists and Jesus freaks
Are to whom the GOP speaks
But attracting this scum
Requires more chum
And new deplorable techniques.

Kim Jong-Un is quite the bard
Calling Donald a deranged dotard
What everyone sees
Is a U.S. disease
That elected an orange tub of lard.

White supremacists are his friends
But it's not where this story ends
Pardoning Sheriff Joe
Was a horror show
What happens next Depends?

Concerned with the size of his prick
Trump went to see Peter Dick
Willie putz with his dong
And make his schlong long
So his cock-eyed Johnson will tick?

Trump said, "No more amnity!"
While talking with Sean Hamesty
He then said, "Forment"
Instead of "Foment"
His vocabulary is a "Tramnesty."

There was a president named Trump
Who tweeted while taking a dump
So they grabbed his phone
And made him lie prone
So someone could wipe his rump.

Another version:
There was a President named Trump
Who tweeted while taking a dump
So Kelly took his phone
And made him lie prone
Then said: "Somebody unplug this chump!"

When Trump rode into town
People began to frown
Some were sad
But most were made
That voters elected this clown.

White supremacists who are Trump's base
Think they're a superior race
They made a pact with the devil
The same as by Neville
Forever they will be a disgrace.

Trump speaks with incoherence
Even with a security clearance
Like a fleeting ghost
Wished for by most
To make a quick disappearance.

There was an old fraud called Trump
Who inherited a dirty great lump
He bought the election
And then on reflection
Spent four years taking a dump.--from a viewer

As Trump grows more bitter
And continues to whine on Twitter
There isn't much hope
To control this dope
Without a babysitter.

Big bags are under his eyes
With a belly large in size
Despite all the weight
Trump thinks he looks great
Holy Mackerel! Look at those thighs!

The Nazis will salute
And the Klu Klux Klan will root
Trump's their man
Despite his plan
To take away all their loot.

Trump Trash roams the streets
But no mention in his tweets
In function as President
He is utterly negligent
All empty words, no deeds.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

They feed Trump positive news
To help reinforce his views
"The White House is strong"
"Fake News is wrong"
Because his ego is huge.

Positive images appear in a folder
But Trump demands it be bolder
He must look strong
With a big hard dong
Looking younger but never older.

Common decency Trump was forsaking
While Boy Scout parents were shaking
Trashing Hillary and Obama
Was quite the drama
For young Deplorables in the making.

What Scaramucci hurled was vulgarity
At Priebus and Bannon with clarity
With his mafia shtick
He's a real prick
To his boss there's a great similarity.

Donald Trump's primary fame
Has brought him mostly shame
And if he gets caught
Over something he wrought
Someone else will be to blame.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump told all the Boy Scouts
Some of his infamous bouts
Because his qualifications
Were his many deflorations
They heard the behavior of a lout.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

He went up like a balloon
Even though he was a buffoon
Becoming President
Was some accident
That should be punctured soon.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

There once was a fellow named Trump
Who lived to ogle the rumps
Of underdressed minors
And grab their vaginas
When he burst in and made them all jump.--from viewer Johnny

Donald Jr. held a meeting
Putin's Russians he was greeting
He thought he'd get dirt
To make Hillary hurt
But instead he got caught in a cheating.

Trump turns to the past
Leaving wiser men aghast
With all his bleating
His country he’s cheating
'America will come in Last'--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump's strongest backer
Is a man named David Pecker
But what's in a name?
His fake news a shame
His soul's increasingly blacker.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump's biggest omission
Is his utter lack of vision
He’s an Evil Clown
Taking America down
Dumping him an easy decision.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

When there's an onslaught of criticism
He seeks refuge in Vladimir's jizm
But that's nothing compared
To the cum that he'll share
With the guy with whom he's in prison.--from viewer Ed Ehren, Michigan

In his golf course clubhouse halls
Trump's Time cover hangs on the walls
But it's a total fake
That was easy to make
By someone with dimpled balls.

Though the President was insane
Republicans allowed him to reign
Like mobster Dons
Who've got more Khans (cons)
Than the entire country of Bahrain.

Trump's nocturnal emissions,
tweeted as petulant transmissions,
FOX praise for ejaculations
Count as huuuge "Congratulations!"
Truth: portents of failing cognition.--from a viewer, Thanks!

His behavior was audacious
For someone not sagacious
Trump's crude and rude
And extremely lewd
And also too salacious.

Women should not be surprised
With health care devised by white guys
Why immaculate conception?
But no contraception?
It's irrational one must surmise.

The dumb son-in-law said, "make your move!"
"It will get you back in the groove"
So Comey was fired
And Trump was mired
In a crime that was easy to prove.

The flabby fat face of the crook
Is not an attractive look
Orange-colored skin
And many more Chins
Than any Chinese phone book.

Trump took a trip to Boston
While riding in a very small Austin
The car was not wide
So he tilted to one side
But his balls hung so low he lost 'em.

At the zoo Trump spent the day
Stopping at the the Orangutan display
Where a boy named Brad
Yelled out to his dad
"Hey look! One just got away!"

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions
Proud of his Confederate possessions
And full of bigotry
That was easy to see
Because he hadn't learned any lessons.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions
Not used to making concessions
This racist elf
Had to recuse himself
After he lied about meeting Russians.

Jefferson Beauregard Sessions
Didn't truthfully answer questions
About meeting with Russians
And having discussions
While Kislyak got erections.

At NATO Trump failed, they said
When he spoke off the top of his head
They stared at their shoes
Hearing his unfortunate news
And knew they weren't being lead.

The Donald who graduated from Penn
Was not like other rich men
Women he took to bed
Wouldn't give him any head
Because of his Trumpled foreskin.

As a youngster an indolent child
As an adult reckless and wild
Now this 70-year old
Who's a complete scold
Is someone who must be reviled.

Trump got away with his schemes
And that's more important it seems
All his sexcopades
And women he's laid
Aren't the feats that give him wet dreams.

More stamina than Hillary, he boasted
But at the G7 he got roasted
While others would stride
Trump hitched a ride
With no energy left he coasted.

Donald and his family aren't smart
Their diplomas are mostly faux "art"
Their ignorance is astounding
Their failures abounding
From the White House they all must depart.

Trump wears an extremely long tie
Mostly red or blue as the sky
It hangs down a notch
And covers his crotch
Lest he forgets to zip up his fly.

Trump lost the popular vote
But still continues to gloat
Three million votes less
One must confess
Is not a mandate to note.

If you reward psychotic behavior
You're not doing youself a favor
While religions may preach
Extreme out reach
Trump is not your savior.

His golf game began to sputter
And foul language Trump would utter
But Melania was crafty
In handling his shafty
And straightened out his putter.

Trump was always a loose cannon
It's why he hired Steve Bannon
But he clashed with Kushner
And fell on his Tushner
So now they need a new stand-in.

If Russian hookers peed on the bed
Just like the dossier said
Trump's attempt to degrade
Where Obama once laid
If true, his presidency is dead.

He wanted James Comey fired
When he thought Trump Tower was wired
It was the Russian probe
Of his frontal lobe
Now a mental exam is required.

Their horse broke down at the gate
And the GOP pondered its fate
Stick with the nag
Watch poll numbers sag
Or pasture him before it's too late.

There was a man from New York
Most called a magnificent dork
This line doesn't matter
He can't get any fatter
And he's way too old to pork.

He thought being President a game
That would surely enhance his fame
Like Russian Roulette
And much to his regret
He won - it's a national shame.

As a politician Trump is crass
But Republicans give him a pass
He needs an institution
To learn elocution
Before lightening shoots out of his ass.

His slogans were a flash in the pan
The antithesis of "Yes We Can"
Making you miss Obama
And much less drama
But at least he's got a strange orange tan.

There once was a man from Queens
Who grew up with really big dreams
But he was such a big liar
His pants caught on fire
Befitting an "emperor" it seems.

While eating his beautiful cake
Mr. Xi knew Trump was a fake
The missiles were a Go!
But were all for show
And an $80 million dollar mistake.

Known as a self-dealing clown
By everyone in his home town
But in the midwest
Cut-off from the rest
The word never got around.

They turn a blind eye to each crime
Unwilling to drop a dime
Send Trump to prison
An easy decision
And Republicans must also do time.

He'll drive the country in a ditch
So his family can become more rich
This self-dealing clan
Has their own plan
It's called the "bait-and-switch."

With his presidency stuck in a rut
Trump behaves more like a mutt
Insanely he barks
Dishonest remarks
Someone muzzle his mouth shut!

Republicans were just too craven
And put up with his misbehavin'
They established a norm
Of a daily shit storm
And now they have no safe haven.

They couldn't keep their stories straight
On the reasons for Comey's fate
But the truth came out
And it was all about
An investigation that won't abate.

It was a slogan ignorance bought
That was always terribly fraught
"Make America Great"
To promote fear and hate
Was not what our forefathers taught.

Foreigners stay in his hotels
A situation that really smells
They expect remuneration
Even when on vacation
Pay-to-play will ring Trump's bell.

They identified with the food he ate
The same junk food on their plate
Buckets of fried chicken
That would only quicken
The way people gain lots of weight.

When Melania and Trump first wed
Her boobs were too small he said
But they grew from a B
To a double D
But now she won't sleep in his bed.

Off to the Vatican Trump went
Some time with the Pope he spent
No dispensation
For his fornication
Not to mention he won't repent.

Big bags are under his eyes
A double chin he can't disguise
He's way too fat
Can't argue with that
He's flabbable we must surmise.

No one likes Ted Cruz
But that's all yesterday's news
But upon reflection
On the country's direction
The GOP is full of loose screws.

Trump thinks himself a hero
But his feats are nearly zero
“If the Pope denies me grace
I’ll burn down this place”
Like a newborn Roman Nero.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

A wealthy old bastard called Trump,
Whose brain was a calcified lump,
Was elected one day,
y Putin some say,
Who tells him how high he should jump.--from viewer James J Karaganis, Schaumburg, IL

A man who we'll call The Don,
Once mastered the Art of the Con,
The truth must be told,
Our country's been sold!
And now our Republic is gone.
--from viewer James J Karaganis, Schaumburg, IL

It made a big impression
Trump going to confession
Much time it did take
To sort out the fake
Altogether a very long session.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump loves his gold it's true
And even the Russians knew,
So they sprayed him with pee
And he smiled with glee
Now his face is golden too!--from a viewer

There once was a president Trump
Whose ethics were all in his rump.
When he couldn't make Comey
His personal homey
He just took him down to the dump.--from viewer Barbara Kunkel in Maine

When Trump took a trip to Rome
Around the Vatican he'd roam
Where he tried to grope
A Bishop, then the Pope
Under St. Peter's dome.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump's remaining hope
Is a deal with the Pope
"If I confess every sin
He'll admit I did win"
And not that other dope.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Something's rotten in the State
Much bigger then Watergate
Comey is not to blame
Trump deserves all the shame
Impeachment lies in wait.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Now's not the time for elation
While Trump's defiling the nation
But never fear
The end will be near
When we can celebrate Trump's cremation.
[Note to the FBI who might be monitoring our site, we hope Trump will die soon from a very unhealthy diet and lifestyle.]

There once was a man from Queens
Who liked girls wearing tight jeans
But being a germophobe
He refused to disrobe
And so he had sex by other means.

There once was a man from Queens
Who craved winning by any means
He lied and cheated
And wasn't defeated
But soon they'll make him come clean.

Orange is the color of his face
But not his signature disgrace
Rape and sexual assault
Were always his fault
Requiring a purse full of mace.

It was only 100 days
And there was nothing one could praise
No wall, no repeal
No "Art of the Deal"
Leaving Limbaugh shocked and dazed!

He claimed it was all China's fault
Their currency manipulation he'd halt
But after the election
When it was obvious deception
They said "lock the liar in a vault."

His supporters were tired of losing
Even though he'd been their choosing
He failed to deliver
His promises went hither
So now they've turned to Ted Cruzin'.

Trump will threaten North Korea
Even though it's a bad idea
His armada may arrive
But Seoul won't survive
A foreign policy of explosive diarrhea.

Now about O'Reilly and Flynn
Oh, what trouble they're in
With sexual repercussions
And dealings with Russians
A handful of hubris and sin.

His promises were all in shards
And Trump played all his cards
But his supporters would muster
More time for his bluster
Because the were all retards.

He promised to build a wall
And it would be 10 feet tall
The Mexicans would pay
But they quickly said "nay"
Dumpy Trumpy took a big fall.

The man with the orange-tinged faee
Is considered a national disgrace
Monuments need not bear
Neither is face nor his hair
Just stand a pumpkin in his place.

Trump likes to create drama
Central figure always Obama
But he keeps on cheating
The TRUTH in his tweeting
Confusing him with Osama?--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump always boasts his name
Hoping for eternal fame
It's his biggest lie
That surely won't die
No President equals his shame.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump's constant cries
Will lead to his demise
His brand will crash
And he'll have less cash
And his Phoenix will never rise.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Bush seems very content
Not being the worst President
Trump's removed that stain
Sending it down the drain
And encasing it in cement.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

With his cherished brand in decline
Trump invented a new design
Toilet papier with his name
Making money with no shame
On a product that's truly divine.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Another version:
Toilet paper with his face and name
Should have brought Trump real shame
But if he's getting a cut
When others wipe their butt
He's making money all the same.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Ryan thought Republicans would heel
And vote for Obamacare repeal
But his bill was bad news
Then Trump turned the screws
And failed in the "Art of the Deal."

He promised he'd make healthcare cheaper
And his supporters need not look deeper
His plan was the best
And passed every test
Except that it brought the Grim Reaper.

Trump's new worries of late
Concern a real 'Deep State'
Whatever he boasts,
He's chasing at ghosts
While building a deep 'Creep State'.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump met a girl from Racine
Who said she was only thirteen
But Trump didn't care
When he stripped her bare
Creating a rape crime scene.

After Trump raped a girl in Dallas
She strapped dynamite onto his phallus
His junk blew apart
Creating new art
That's hanging in a bar in Corvallis.

Trump raped a girl in Sioux Falls
Who strapped dynamite on his balls
His junk blew apart
Creating new art
On the floor, ceiling, and walls.

When Harward and Petraeus bowed out
Trump's team began to pout
While Flynn was gone
It might take too long
To find someone who'd work for a lout.

On the front page his face must appear
Pictures he always keeps near
He will frame them all
To put on his wall
Trump's huge ego has no peer.
--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Not the land of milk & honey
Trump's America isn't so sunny
The billionaires will thrive
Everyone else may survive
Until Trump takes all of their money.

The new Secretary of Education
Is as dumb as her reputation
She sounds like a fool
For wanting guns in school
To kill grizzlies without provocation.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

A certain Trump from The States
Can not enter The Pearly Gates
As the Pope said with conviction:
'You are not a Christian,
Down where the Devil waits!'--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

A so-called President Trump
Whose actions are increasingly dumb
Will make people more wary
Of a future too scary
And lead to one action: DUMP!--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

The Beauty and the Beast
Had their Inauguration Feast
But she couldn't smile
To a husband so vile
By a Golden Shower pee'd.--from viewer Jan, Roermond, Netherlands

Trump signed an executive order
Supposedly to protect the border
But it was a Muslim ban
And when the shit hit the fan
It created worldwide disorder.

Why does Trump act insane?
Is there a problem inside his brain?
His hair is the clue
Cause when the wind blew
You knew he was high on Rogaine.

Trump lives in a gilded palace
And drinks from a silver chalice
While lying naked in bed
Women gaze at the head
Of his un-magnificent phallus.

Trump is obsessed with size
Only measured by his own eyes
Whether it's the size of his crowd
Or the inches he's endowed
They're both over-inflated by lies.

Trump’s jingoistic tirade
Is vital to his charade
Aimed at white nativists
And deplorables who insist
They aren't the ones being played.

For too long the media's been played
By the entire Trump brigade
Preferring their access
To a complete jackass
They're willing to join his charade.

The GOP's ascension
Had two key dimensions
Complete obstruction
Causing government dysfunction
And widespread voter suppression.

On Trump we dug up some dirt
On laws he continues to skirt
And he's raped two wives
And has mobster ties
There's always a spoiler alert.

Protesters wore pussy hats with pride
A rebuke of Trump so snide
But Trump's main thought
Was that he hadn't bought
Those pink hats to sell on the side.

When Trump announced he was running
His staging was extremely cunning
Many extras were paid
To attend his charade
In a display that was grotesquely stunning.

Melania displayed a big frown
Dancing in her new ball gown
Her cheatin' man
Not part of her plan
Had caused her nervous breakdown.

Another version:
Melania displayed a big frown
Dancing in her new ball gown
Like his first two wives
Donald raped then despised
She was having a nervous breakdown.

Trump met a girl named Alice
Who was smitten by his golden palace
A golddigger was she
Who liked to pee
Looking down on his tiny phallus.

Trump met a pretty young lass
Who possessed a marvelous ass
So he grabbed her butt
And uttered some smut
Because he was that crude and crass.

The inauguration was sparsely attended
Which left Trump totally upended
So he disputed the count
With a much larger amount
And sent his minion to defend it.

When his biker friends came to D.C.
They clearly intended to see
Women with tattoos
Naked and drinking booze
Instead of the staged pageantry.

Putin elected his man
That was part of his Russian plan
Now compromised
By Russian spies
Who will yank his crank when they can.

"Make America Great Again"
A slogan for stupid white men
And their Stepford wives
Who lead sheltered lives
And all their deplorable kin.

Trump has a very bald pate
That would not attract a new mate
So he bought new hair
To cover-up the bare
Now his head doesn't look so great.

A scumbag they knew Trump was
For hanging around with scuzz
Wrestlers and gamblers
And mobster handlers
On the lam from the fuzz.

Folders were stacked high on the table
Another visual Trumpian fable
From no business he'd divest
So reporters could digest
Why those folders bore no label.

Trump should wear the right sweater
A sexual predator who didn't know better
It need not say much
But will have the right touch
With one big scarlet letter.

Trump as an ugly old hack
Couldn't get any girls in the sack
So he flashed more money
To catch a young honey
But his junk never got on track.

Tump went out on a date
With a former Playboy Playmate
She was pretty enough
So he showed her his stuff
But his dick was too small to locate.

Trump went out on a date
With a former Playmate named Kate
But when his penis came out
She started to pout
Because it was small and not standing straight.

Trump has very small hands
That reflect the size of is glans
But he claimed otherwise
While hoping to disguise
All the stuffing he put down his pants.

He only won the election
With Putin's interjection
You can take that bet
And to Trump say "nyet"
With a very bigly rejection.

Trump was the flimflam man
Who never had a good plan
But Republicans stayed jolly
Knowing his ideas were folly
Aligning both with the Klu Klux Klan.

When reporters arrived at Trump Towers
They were greeted by Golden Showers
Not the kind you'd expect
But what hookers perfect
Standing naked on Trump's bed for hours.

"Draining the swamp" a sad lament
A phrase that Trump never meant
While Tillerson kept drilling
The swamp kept filling
And Trump kept collecting more rent.

"Locker room talk" was merely an excuse
For a long history of sexual abuse
So the media's to blame
For repeating Trump's claim
Cause the video should have cooked his goose.

Trump tweets to all his backers
And denies the Russian hackers
Without their chicanery
He'd have lost to Hillary
Cause his only supporters are "crackers."

With congress now all the same phylum,
And Donald on Fantasy Island,
I'm sure we will see
What evil can be
As lunatics run the asylum.
- from viewer Timothy, Piermont, NY

Congress was a-pologetic
For gutting the Office of Ethics.
It's telling to see
That their first move would be
Toward the crooks to be sympathetic.
- from viewer Timothy, Piermont, NY

Dumpy Trumpy thought he could stall
All the promises he made in the fall
When reality descended
His supporters lamented
Having given this nitwit the ball.

Dumpy Trumpy has to go
Along with his reality show
Lockup his supporters
And all the Deporters
And take away all their dough.

Trump wants you to think he's smart
A tall tale that's part of his "art"
With six bankruptcies
And no transcripts you'll see
And his doctor who wrote a fake chart.

Trump exhibits too much delusion
But it's not from a brain contusion
His memory is impaired
Enough to be scared
Senile dementia is a probable conclusion.

Trump is a dangerous man
His friends the Klu Klux Klan
Conspiracy theorists
Are those who get nearest
And Bannon is part of that plan.

While Trump tweets can't be long
They still are clearly wrong
His endless lying
And constant denying
Proves Twitter needs a gong.

Dumpy Trumpy knew how to lie
Often enough supporters would sigh
But something went wrong
Their healthcare was gone
And soon many of them will die.

David Friedman is a terrible pick
Chosen to suck Adelson's dick
More settlement construction
A two-state destruction
And an embassy in Jerusalem quick.

Dumpy Trumpy
Pudding and pie
Groped the girls and made them cry
Trumpy was lewd
So the girls all sued
He said, "what a bad boy am I."

Dumpy Trumpy wanted a wall
But Dumpy Trumpy had too much gall
So all Putin's horses
And Chinese forces
Made Dumpy Trumpy take a big fall.

Given his bad comb-over
Trump should be treated like Rover
Just give him a treat
Fried chicken he'll eat
Then teach him how to rollover.

His businesses cause me distress
Because he won't divest
If foreigners stay
In Trump's hotel for a day
No maid can clean all this mess.

Campaigning the Donald said, "Please..."
No insiders, moguls or thieves!
Now I run this joint,
So I will appoint
MY insiders, moguls and thieves." --from viewer Timothy, Piermont, NY

The Donald is truly ill-bred
For when meeting a lass, it is said
As manners demand
She offered her hand
But he shook her "pussy" instead. --from viewer Rulon, Piedmont, CA

If it weren't for Putin's hackers
Trump wouldn't have enough backers
The Russian collection
Won him the election
Because Trump's only voters were "Crackers."

Trump ate too much Nutella
And became an obese fella
It seems he will need
A doctor indeed
Who can inject his face with Kybella.

Trump made a call to Taiwan
Because all his neckties were gone
But he confused the border
While placing his order
And bought a red bolo from Juan.

The Donald has quite an agenda.
On Monday, Obamacare enda.
On Tuesday it's Hillary
Tied to the Pillory
Wednesday its grabbing pudenda. --from viewer Timothy, Piermont, NY

Kellyanne is the ultimate whore
She'll scrape money off the floor
An FBI hack
Had her in the sack
But pulled out before she could score.

No excuses for Trump's supporters
They're ignorant reality distorters
With bigotry and hate
And no facts that negate
The fictions they spin to reporters.

There once was a man named Trump
Who was a real pain in the rump
He sniffled and snuffed
And thought he was tough
But he proved to be Vladimir's chump. -- thanks for this viewer submission

A Trump-Pence sign in your yard
Means you'll be hoist by your own petard
Standing for bigotry and fear
Ignorant people living here
It's something you need to discard.

Another version:
A Trump-Pence sign in your yard
No need for the National Guard
There's bigotry, fear
Ignorant people living here
Who'll be hoist by their own petard.

There's only one sure bet
It's one you won't regret
A vote for Hillary
Will certainly pillory
An existential threat.

With Trump destined to lose
A campaign that was only a ruse
Will his supporters move on
Or never be gone
And then support Trump News.

Another version:
With Trump destined to lose
What will his supporters choose
Will they quickly move on
Or never be gone
After Hillary cooks his goose.

After Trump's three wives had babies
He cheated on them like crazy
Now sexually unattractive
And to him radioactive
They were treated as if they had rabies.

No excuses for Trump's supporters
They're ignorant reality distorters
Their bigotry and hate
With no facts that negate
The fictions they spin to reporters.

The voters in Trump's campaign corner
Are not unlike Little Jack Horner
They stick in their thumb
And get a crumb from a bum
Who's not a real social reformer.

A Playmate had a romp with Trump
For a year they continued to hump
But Melanie stood mute
Wanting to keep her loot
Instead of booting him in the rump.

Trump had a year-long affair
Attracted to her derriere
The press went ga-ga
But this Playmate's saga
Was never meant to air.

Grumpy Trumpy puddin' and pie
Groped the girls and made them cry
And made him reflect
Upon introspect
What a bad hombre am I.

Here's to all of Trump's losers
Who'll support a female abuser
You think you've got game
But instead you're quite lame
When you denigrate all his accusers.

Trump thought he could run for President
In the White House he would take up residence
But to his demise
And no one's surprise
Reporters exposed all his excrement.

Trump is a really bad dude
He's malicious and extremely lewd
He's groped many women
Then threatened to sue 'em
But it's him who's now being sued.

Trump is a really bad dude
He's both obnoxious and very rude
But his supporters don't care
If he's full of hot air
Because they're all equally crude.

Not attracted to women who've had babies
This reporting on Trump wasn't hazy
Revealed to Liz Smith
By Ivana set adrift
Detailing Trump as a cheater who's crazy.

Trump told his tax bosses
To find loopholes for his big losses
Almost a billion he used
Skirting taxes due
Caring nothing how much it costs us.

No wants to hear from Mike Pence
The man doesn't make any sense
Too conservative for most
Women's bodies are toast
He can't even mend one fence.

The electors that Trump takes
Come from states making big mistakes
He won't win the election
Because of voter rejection
In the U.S. there aren't enough flakes.

Conspiracy theories are a bad joke
Being played on susceptible folk
No facts will ever matter
In their internet chatter
When these flames are so easy to stoke.

Trump support comes from the Klan
White nationalists know he's their man
They made robo-calls
Displaying big brass balls
Employing slander as part of their plan.

Trump's never been a savior
Instead he's been mostly a failure
He's groped and raped
But managed to escape
Charges of lewd and lascivious behavior.

States with the most ignorant voters
Will always have more Trump supporters
Their nativist white men
Will protect their dominion
Over any media with real reporters.

Melania can't handle the truth
But she needn't hire a sleuth
Cheating on all three wives
Should come as no surprise
Because Donald was always uncouth.

Off the runway slid Pence's plane
After landing in some normal rain
With yet another rough landing
Irony notwithstanding
A metaphor for the Trump campaign.

"Libel bully" is what Trump should be called
And everyone should be appalled
He's threatened to sue
Everyone he once knew
Including all the women he's mauled.

Trump hired a bunch of stooges
Who'll get paid if he so chooses
They work on his campaign
But they always sound lame
And most won't get paid when he loses.

From Trump we should seek restitution
For promoting democracy's dilution
Millions crave their savior
Despite disqualifying behavior
He should be locked in an institution.

Trump's never been a straight talker
But he's his own personal hawker
Hyping buildings with his name
That now bear a stain
Because everyone knows he's a gawker.

Millions seek someone to blame
And Trump has stoked their refrain
With no moral compass
They worship a jackass
Like moths they are drawn to the flame.

Trump supporters are extremely dumb
And many are violent scum
Very few have convictions
That aren't contradictions
Which explains why they'd support a bum.

Trump likes to puff up his chest
Think's he's smarter than the rest
But he lacks simple knowledge
That was taught before college
So he can't pass a civics test.

Trump committed sexual assault
But claimed it was the media's fault
He threatened to sue
But everyone knew
A sexual predator by default.

Now is not the time to gloat
Believing Trump can't stay afloat
He'll stay in the race
Trying to save some face
So you need to get out and vote.

What happens after this election
And a big Trump rejection.
The polls weren't wrong
And the money's all gone
Will there be a media defection.

Mike Pence is the religious right's man
And he will always follow their plan
His theology hurts women
Who don't want more children
So he governs like the Taliban.

Trump received a business education
From an elite school with a solid reputation
But he lacks the requisite knowledge
Of having graduated from this college
Maybe Wharton should lose its accredidation.

Trump is a serial cheater
He's a rapist but not a wife beater
Evangelicals closed their eyes
To a man they should despise
Never thinking he would meater.

Trump cheated on all three wives
Who tolerated all his lies
Ivana got a divorce
Marla followed of course
Soon Melania may open her eyes.

Trump will continue to sputter
And insults he will continue to utter
America he's trashed
And immigrants he's bashed
Keeping his campaign in the gutter.

Trump will keep cheating on Melania
Because it's his modus operandia
In order to change course
Melania should file for divorce
Before she contracts Chlamydia.

El Trumpo was an old caballero
Who wore a red sombrero
When Latinos said basta
We ain't paying the costa
For that wall you crazy vaquero.

Trump will take a big beating
But not from election cheating
It's because he's a dope
And offers no hope
That he won't stop his vengeful tweeting.

Trump prefers women who are trim
He'll grope their big boobs on a whim
Into dressing rooms he's veered
At young girls he's leered
No one INSPECTS woman more than him.

U.S. taxpayers will now pay for his wall
Changing his position took lots of gall
Trump knows he's stuck
In knee-deep muck
With nowhere left to fall.

Trump University was just a scam
Cheating contractors was part of his plan
Assaulting women is a crime
And he should have done time
Someone please lock up this man.

To those who want to elect this ignoramus
Thinking you will also be rich and famous
Means like Trump you are immoral
Which is why you are deplorable
And deserve to have his penis up your anus.

The Trump Carnival came into town
With the barker surrounded by clowns
No animals were in a cage
Just a manchild on stage
But now the curtain must forever come down.

Trump whines about a rigged election
To blame when voters reject him
As his poll numbers drop
He continues to flop
Like a 70-year old man's erection.

Women's bodies he has berated
Not something to be debated
He'll poke fun at her face
Small breasts are a disgrace
Trump clearly needs to be castrated.

When Trump's attacked he gets bitter
And immediately he plays with his twitter
He tweets all night
Trying to set things right
As if he's trading chatter for titter.

On a long flight he couldn't refrain
From groping a woman with disdain
He unbuttoned her shirt
And slithered up her skirt
Now that's really a snake on the plane.

For Clinton it couldn't get better
Her opponent a sexual predator
Most women aren't a match
When Donald grabs their snatch
While hoping he gets some header.

Trump needs to be rich and famous
To get away with behavior that's heinous
He commits sexual assault
That's always his fault
Reminiscent of an ignoramus.

For Trump Law & Order has its place
But for him it's mostly about race
He's committed sexual assault
That was all his own fault
Put Law & Order SVU on his case.

Despite him being a deceiver
Trump's goal is to create believers
He groped women at Mar-a-Lago
Not all that Long-a-Ago
And he bragged about bagging a beaver.

Trump sent some men to Cuba
But they weren't there to scuba
They were violating an embargo
Hoping to sell Trump cargo
When they failed they set sail to Aruba.

Trump goes bananas when losing
His ego can't stand any bruising
If his thin skin is pricked
He gets mega-ticked
And tweets when he ought to be snoozing.--from a contributor. Thanks for sending us these terrific limericks

The GOP rallied round Trump
Promoting him out on the stump
But when his disgraces
Endangered key races
The rats found the courage to jump. --from a contributor

To threaten to jail his foe
Is even for Trump a new low
He leers at his daughter
Like no father oughter
And sniffs like he's doing some blow.--from a contributor

Apology isn't his game
No surprise that it sounded so lame
He bragged of advances
That ruined his chances
But thinks only losing's a shame.--from a contributor

Now unshackled Trump freely unloads
Unconcerned if his party implodes
The world dreads a Trump win
He can't be allowed in
Sniffing distance of nuclear codes.--from a contributor

Trump groped a woman named Alice
Under a table, in a restaurant, without malice
He grabbed at her crotch
To take it up a notch
But realized he forgot his Cialis.

Trump was accused of rape
But he always managed to escape
These women tried to sue
But Trump already knew
His victims had no videotape.

America has been trashed, Trump claims
And it's Hillary and Obama, he blames
But America's not in ash
It's Trump who's an ass
And it's Trump who's going down in flames.

"I like young girls with big breasts", he chants
"And I prefer them in tight skirts, not pants"
Trump's women are sex objects
Whose bodies are his subjects
Which is why Ivana got a face lift and implants.

Trump supporters are his marks
When they agree with all his remarks
At foreigners they bristle
At women they cat whistle
Trump doesn't need a dog whistle, they bark.

His head resembles a wood duck
But without any feathers to pluck
With a big flap of hair
Combed back covering bare
Trump quacks and waddles in muck.

His campaign has run out of luck
But Donald's hair continues to suck
His combover goes back
Making him look like a quack
With a head resembling a wood duck.

Americans will never be great
With a President spreading bigotry and hate
He won't release his tax returns
Because voters would then learn
That Trump is a huge cheapskate.

Trump wants you to believe he's wealthy
But his taxes and businesses are stealthy
His weight says he's obese
He may have heart disease
So he may not be rich or healthy.

Trump has only one main passion
To see his name always in fashion
He relies on the media
But never Wikopedia
He's an obese version of Kim Kardashian.

Trump thought he could wing the debate
Good preparation was not on his plate
So he went on stage
And fumbled and raged
Before swallowing all Hillary's bait.

Trump was never a thinker
During the debate he was a stinker
When Hillary hit him with Machado
Trump lost all his bravado
And swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.

We need a major investigation
Of the entire Trump organization
The foundation took donations
Spent on personal obligations
And in violation of state regulations.

Trump is a very whiny bitch
Who could never scratch Bloomberg's itch
So he aimed for the Presidency
Where Bloomberg showed hesitancy
Knowing he'll never be nearly as rich.

Conspiracy theorists are Donald's best friends
Taking the space where reality bends
Trump invents crazy claims
That make him sound insane
Into a rabbit hole he's willing to descend.

A vote for Gary Johnson or Jill Stein
Is clearly a waste of one's time
Neither will win a single state
Nor qualify for any debate
And it's not a vote that's benign.

Trump thinks his dealing-making an art
But in reality he's just not that smart
When he speaks he stumbles
Or in non-sentences he mumbles
When his mouth moves it's just a brain fart.

Why are Trump supporters deplorable?
It's because their values are horrible
They are bigots and xenophobes
And men who don white robes
Like Trump they should become ignorables.

We need a landslide election
So Trump gets a major rejection
Because if the election is close
Trump surely will boast
That it was rigged to stop his ascension.

Donald Jr. is just as crazy
And like his father factually lazy
Equating refugees who are Syrian
To Skittles with poison
Proves the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

A Trump-Pence sign in your yard
Will put your neighbors on guard
They might think you're a predator
And it won't get any better
Because they'll know you're a mental retard.

Trump will display snobbery
Even when committing robbery
Be it real estate or casinos
And his involvement with Gambinos
He really needs another Jobbery.

Trump campaigned at a mall
But in reality it was bad protocol
No one could shop
Without being stopped by a cop
And all that took place was a brawl.

Trump needs a scripted campaign
Because he's mostly insane
But no amount of fertilizer
Will make him any wiser
But it might grow him a longer mane.

Trump supporters are low information
And you don't need more confirmation
They think reality shows are real
Which accounts for their zeal
But what they need is more education.

Another version:
Trump supporters are low information
And that doesn't require confirmation
He doesn't care about their problems
Nor know how to solve them
But he'll gladly accept their donation.

Trump supporters are as dumb as a plate
And they are filled with anger and hate
They have low education
And little information
They should be sterilized so none can mate.

Male Trump voters should be locked in a crate
Where they only can masturbate
To visions of gold-plated riches
And trophy wives not bitches
That will never become their fate.

Trump said he'd self-fund his campaign
If he's worth billions it would cause him no pain
But spending his own money
Was completely phony
When using other people's money was his game.

Trump doesn't want to be President
And that should be self-evident
He's just running to make money
Taking donations from dummies
He'll rent you a seat at his next event.

Trump can't self-fund his campaign
Even though it was his original claim
He's not that rich
Despite his pitch
So sending him your money is insane.

Trump's a billionaire many believe
Because he was able to deceive
He won't release any tax returns
Due to his IRS concerns
Fooling many he's been able to achieve.

Trump's not a religious man
But he does need America's Taliban
So the bible became his prop
To make the religious right stop
Believing he's only running a scam.

When will the media do their job
Reporting Trump's ties to the mob
If Ignorance is bliss
They should all take a piss
And not give us another blowjob.

False equivalency is the media's mistake
Painting Trump and Clinton both fake
Donald scores much higher
On the scale of a liar
And by any other standard they make.

Trump can lie with impunity
Because supporters grant him immunity
Are his lies based on stupidity
Or the product of opportunity
It doesn't matter in his own community.

After the Trump campaign fails
No one will bite their nails
Another plan's in the works
Involving big media jerks
And you can bet one is named Roger Ailes.

Trump always tells awful lies
He's a sociopath in disguise
Are these lies based on stupidity
Or the product of opportunity
It's a question that should be analyzed.

Are Trump lies what he believes
Or are they only meant to deceive
Because Trump's so dumb
It could be either one
Unless there's something else up his sleeve.

It takes an acute lack of knowledge
To challenge where Obama went to college
Too many records exist
Obama couldn't fabricate this
So Trump's an idiot to acknowledge.

Trump often strikes a weird pose
To hide all his business woes
While most of them failed
He escaped being jailed
The Emperor has no clothes

Trump has a daughter named Ivanka
Whose face is covered in mica
She used to look trim
But she's not in the gym
Now her butts as big as Casa Blanca.

Everyone must know he's a clown
But why's he still hanging around
Are American's that dumb
They would elect pond scum
Yes, Trump should be gagged and bound.

Ivanka didn't need a ruse
Or even another excuse
She used to look trim
But she belongs in the gym
With an ass as wide as a caboose.

A man with a very orange tan
Devised an abnormal plan
He would incite bigotry and fear
Knowing the racists would cheer
But his plan only appealed to the Klan.

Trump started the birther crusade
Knowing it was all a charade
It fired up his supporters
And shocked the reporters
When he called a spade a spade.

Trump thought he was back in the groove
With a racehorse ready to improve
But Trump couldn't refrain
From wanting a quick gain
Until the vet removed both front hooves.

Trump needed his height to increase
On his medical records set for release
With his body mass score
He needed one inch more
Or else he would be labeled obese.

Trump is a serial liar
But his situation is not that dire
He lies often enough
His supporters think him tough
Instead of telling him "You're Fired!"

Why's Trump even in this race
With his puffy distorted orange face
His body's all bloated
He should be floated
Down the East River on a leisurely pace.

Needing an exit from the birther car
Made Trump sound very bizarre
He sunk so low
Into a reality show
Where the stage had a limbo bar.

His supporters are in the dark
Thinking their candidate is a shark
But Trump's history is a mystery
That won't lead to victory
And soon they'll become his "mark".

Trump needed to re-tool his campaign
So it had at least one working brain
So he fired several people
And hired new sheeple
While his campaign stays mainly on the plane.

Trump's sons enjoy killing animals
Because both are actually mananimals
With knives in tote
They slit animal's throats
While behaving more like cannibals.

Trump's sons often hear the echo
To decorate their homes in art deco
It's Wall Street they emulate
Even though it's not their fate
But it's why they look like Gordon Gekko.

Why's Trump running in a national election
It will draw him too much attention
With his New Jersey casinos
And his ties to the Gambinos
He should be in witness protection.

The Deplorables should look at themselves
They believe in tooth fairies and elves
If they really want change
Why elect the deranged
Whose only concern is himself.

Trump was down on his luck
Because his poll numbers were stuck
So he brought in a new team
To give his campaign more steam
But he's still the same old shmuck.

Donald Trump never tells the truth
About his taxes, business failures, or loot
He lies with impunity
Because he gets immunity
So The Donald is totally uncouth.

Trump is a man with some flair
But Oh! What God awful hair!
It seems glued into place
All around his fat face
With orange strands covering bare.

Trump conducts business on a lark
That's why his campaign's in the dark
Christie's approval's in the tank
Kellyanne is a skank
And Giuliani has jumped the shark.

Trump craps in a gold-plated can
But his supporters think he's their man
Because of less education
And a mind in constipation
His shit keeps hitting his fans.

Republicans had hopes for a Ronald
But instead all they got was The Donald
Mix together Iran-contra
With a build-a-wall mantra
And what you get is a Ronald McDonald.

Another version:
Republicans had hopes for a Ronald
But instead all they got was The Donald
Mix trickle-down economics
With a reality show comic
And you get a Ronald McDonald.

Donald Trump is a man with no shame
He will cheat, lie, and place blame
He's a conman in a nice suit
Who will take anyone's loot
So why does he have any fame?

Trump as a smart man is baloney
He's definitely not a Marconi
He's made deals with mobsters
And hob-nobbed with gangsters
He last name should be Corleone.

Trump should hire an advisor
But he doesn't appear any wiser
When it comes to his charity
His donations are a rarety
Now everyone knows Trump's a miser.

Trump courted a model named Meeka
Who lived down in Costa Rica
Even though he got no erection
He still contracted an infection
And now he's being treated for Zika.

Everyone must know he's a clown
But why's he still hanging around
He's ignorant as an ox
Even when he's on FOX

Yes, Trump should be gagged and bound.

There was an egotist named Trump
Who decided to go on the stump
He lied all the time
So his base stayed in line
But now his campaign's in the dump.

Trump was a bigot with flair
But totally obsessed with his hair
In truth he was bald
Then his campaign stalled
When he mistook his Rogaine for Nair.

There was a trans man named Nate
Who was adept at testing his fate
So when Trump came to town
He dressed up in a gown
And Trump asked him out on a date.

A doctor was examining Trump
And noticed his dick was a stump
As tiny as his hands
Was his small flaccid glans
He could only recommend a pump.

On board the deck of the Intrepid
Was the candidate who looked decrepit
Donald Trump was his name
But who can we blame
For inviting this jackass, we said.

Smart people know Trump's insane
Not only because he's so vain
But a real diagnosis
Of all his neurosis
Would yield an alt-right brain.

There was as ass clown named Trump
Who thought he could get a big bump
If he spewed more fear
So his supporter would cheer
But to most he came off as a chump.

A mobster sold Trump a racehorse.
Training for the Triple Crown of course
But when the horse broke down
After being run into the ground
Trump reneged on the sale no remorse.

A bald man named Trump made a bet
That his skullet wouldn't make voters fret
As silly as he appeared
He should have been jeered
With a dome like a Chia-pet.

There was a man known as The Trumpkin
Whose head was as orange as a pumpkin
With silly-looking hair
Combed to conceal the bare
He looked more like a Country Bumpkin.



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