Contest Between Kerry and Bush
- from viewer L. Shanline
upon a time, long, long ago, there was a Presidential
election that was too close to call. Neither
the Republican presidential candidate nor the
Democratic presidential candidate had enough
votes to win the election. Therefore, it was
decided that there should be an ice fishing
contest between the two candidates to determine
the final win ner.
was much talk about ballot recounting, court
challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing
competition seemed the (manly) way to settle
things. The candidate who catches the most fish
at the end of the week wins. After a lot of
back and forth discussion, it was decided that
the contest would take place on a remote, cold,
icey lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no
observers present and both men were to be sent
out separately on this remote lake and return
daily with their catch for counting and verification.
the end of the first day, Kerry. returns to
the headquarters and he has 10 fish. Soon, Bush,
who has answers to everything, but no plan,
returns and has zero fish.
Well, everyone assumes he is just having another
bad hair day or something and hopefully, he
will catch up the next day. At the end of the
2n d day Kerry comes in with 20 fish and Bush
comes in again with none.
evening, Dole gets together secretly with Bush
and says, "I think Kerry is a lowlife cheatin'
son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow
and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy
on him and see if he is cheating in any way."
The next night (after Kerry comes back with
50 fish), Dole says to Bush, "Well, what about
it? Is Kerry. cheatin?'"
sure is, he's cutting holes in the ice."