It started out innocently enough. I began to
think at parties now and then -- to loosen up.
though, one thought led to another, and soon
I was more than just a social thinker. I began
to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself
-- but I knew it wasn't true.
became more and more important to me, and finally
I was thinking all the time. That was when things
began to sour at home. One evening I had turned
off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning
of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
began to think on the job. I knew that thinking
and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop
myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime
so I could read Thoreau and Kafka. I would return
to the office dizzied and confused, asking,
"What is it exactly we are doing here?"
day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen,
I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but
your thinking has become a real problem. If
you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have
to find another job."
gave me a lot to think about. I came home early
after my conversation with the boss. "Honey,"
I confessed, "I've been thinking..." "I know
you've been thinking," she said, "and I want
a divorce!" "But Honey, surely it's not that
serious." "It is serious," she said, lower lip
aquiver. "You think as much as college professors
and college professors don't make any money,
so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any
money!" "That's a faulty syllogism," I said
impatiently. She exploded in tears of rage and
frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with
the emotional drama. "I'm going to the library,"
I snarled as I stomped out the door.
headed for the library, in the mood for some
Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with
NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass
doors...they didn't open. The library was closed.
this day, I believe that a Higher Power was
looking out for me that night. Leaning on the
unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra,
a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking
ruining your life?" it asked. You probably recognize
that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am
today: a recovering thinker.
never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we
watch a non-educational video; last week it
was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about
how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.
still have my job, and things are a lot better
at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow,
as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road
to recovery is nearly complete for me.
I registered to vote as a Republican.