A day in the life of Joe Teabagger, from a viewer
Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffee maker with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first
swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are
safe to take because some crazy commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical
plan because some socialist union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance--now Joe gets it, too. He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man troublemaker fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is
properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total
contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what
he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist whacko liberal fought for laws to stop
industries and government from polluting our air. He walks to the subway
station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him
considerable money in parking and transportation costs because some
fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which
gives everyone the opportunity to become a contributor to the economy.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with fair pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy
liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
Joe's employer pays for these because Joe's employer doesn't want
his employees to call the union. If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes
unemployed, he'll get a worker's compensation or unemployment check
because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home
because of his temporary misfortune.
It's noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some
godless liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers
who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression. Joe has to make
payments on his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and also on
his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided
that Joe and society would be better off if he was educated and earned
more money over his lifetime.
Now Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal
fought for car safety standards. He arrives at his boyhood home. His
was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home
Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans. The
house didn't even have electricity--until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk
show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and
conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that his beloved Republicans
have fought against every protection and benefit that Joe enjoys every day.
Of course, Joe agrees: "We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our
lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes evryone should take
care of themselves, just like I have."