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Putsch: Blame Clinton....blame Canada, blame someone, anyone...
by Bryan Zepp Jamieson
January 14, 2004

Just when you thought the right wing and their fearless leader, that Yellow Pose of Texas, George W. Fustercluck of the White Feather, couldn't get any dumber, they find a way.

In the aftermath of the sensational charges in Ron Suskind's book, "The Price of Loyalty" that Paul O'Neill saw Putsch as little more than a potted plant, Putsch, apparently uncued, told the complaisant media that the allegation that they were planning an attack on Iraq from Day One following the SC coup was no big deal, since Clinton was doing the same thing. Clinton, too, was for "regime change," Putsch announced grandly, or at least coherently.

Leaving aside the obvious tacit admission inherent in that particular statement, there was the question that none of the cringing dogs in the White House Press was willing to ask: "Did Clinton's plans for regime change involve attacking, invading, and then occupying Iraq, killing over ten thousand people in the process and leaving our troops to be slowly bled dry by a home-grown resistance movement?"

It would have been a good question, and in a country with a free press that had access to a real president, someone might have asked it. But this bunch, who already bought the notion that Saddam made Putsch attack, were quite content to accept that Clinton made Putsch attack, too.

Fortunately for us all, right wingers are better at taking cues from the top than they are about thinking about sensible responses, and one of Putsch's blindest supporters on Usenet was kind enough to post exactly what Clinton had in mind for "regime change."

Keep in mind, as you read this, that this particular defender of the Putsch once claimed that he was authorized to speak authoritatively on the subject of police powers since he was, in fact, a criminal attorney. (I'm not sure which way that adjective works in this case.) The claim might have carried more weight if the clown hadn't been stating that the police have power to issue warrants, and don't need a judge. No, really. I wouldn't make that up.

Here is "The Iraqi Liberation Act" that Putsch is depending on to claim that Clinton started this whole invasion thing, and the fact that it's blowing up in our faces is all Clinton's fault:

The Iraq Liberation Act October 31, 1998 STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT THE WHITE HOUSE Office of the Press Secretary For Immediate Release October 31, 1998

STATEMENT BY THE PRESIDENT: Today I am signing into law H.R. 4655, the "Iraq Liberation Act of 1998." This Act makes clear that it is the sense of the Congress that the United States should support those elements of the Iraqi opposition that advocate a very different future for Iraq than the bitter reality of internal repression and external aggression that the current regime in Baghdad now offers.

Let me be clear on what the U.S. objectives are: The United States wants Iraq to rejoin the family of nations as a freedom-loving and law-abiding member. This is in our interest and that of our allies within the region.

The United States favors an Iraq that offers its people freedom at home. I categorically reject arguments that this is unattainable due to Iraq's history or its ethnic or sectarian make-up. Iraqis deserve and desire freedom like everyone else. The United States looks forward to a democratically supported regime that would permit us to enter into a dialogue leading to the reintegration of Iraq into normal international life.

My Administration has pursued, and will continue to pursue, these objectives through active application of all relevant United Nations Security Council resolutions. The evidence is overwhelming that such changes will not happen under the current Iraq leadership. In the meantime, while the United States continues to look to the Security Council's efforts to keep the current regime's behavior in check, we look forward to new leadership in Iraq that has the support of the Iraqi people. The United States is providing support to opposition groups from all sectors of the Iraqi community that could lead to a popularly supported government.

On October 21, 1998, I signed into law the Omnibus Consolidated and Emergency Supplemental Appropriations Act, 1999, which made $8 million available for assistance to the Iraqi democratic opposition. This assistance is intended to help the democratic opposition unify, work together more effectively, and articulate the aspirations of the Iraqi people for a pluralistic, participatory political system that will include all of Iraq's diverse ethnic and religious groups. As required by the Emergency Supplemental Appropriations Act for FY 1998 (Public Law 105-174), the Department of State submitted a report to the Congress on plans to establish a program to support the democratic opposition. My Administration, as required by that statute, has also begun to implement a program to compile information regarding allegations of genocide, crimes against humanity, and war crimes by Iraq's current leaders as a step towards bringing to justice those directly responsible for such acts.

The Iraq Liberation Act of 1998 provides additional, discretionary authorities under which my Administration can act to further the objectives I outlined above. There are, of course, other important elements of U.S. policy. These include the maintenance of U.N. Security Council support efforts to eliminate Iraq's weapons and missile programs and economic sanctions that continue to deny the regime the means to reconstitute those threats to international peace and security. United States support for the Iraqi opposition will be carried out consistent with those policy objectives as well. Similarly, U.S. support must be attuned to what the opposition can effectively make use of as it develops over time. With those observations, I sign H.R. 4655 into law.


Our resident right wing "lawyer," who is so obviously brain-damaged that I have to conclude that he is a paid operative of the GOP, followed this with the triumphant crow, "C'mon Dummycrats you can do better then this can't you? I dare you to try and use this and have anyone take you seriously...."

I'm not saying that it's Brett Koffman, lately of Al Franken's book fame, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. The style is very similar.

Notice the complete lack of a declaration of war. The budget for helping the opposition was $8 million, which would make this the cheapest war America fought since the Duchy of Grand Fenwick attacked.

But that is what Putsch's response is. He was accused of lying to and cheating the American people, of inventing reasons to attack a country that did not pose an immediate or significant threat to America, and his only response was, "Yeah, well, Clinton did it first!"

And, of course, he was lying about that.

The man is a daily humiliation to America.

Still, two stories are breaking tonight that might distract, although that may not be a good thing for the Republicans.

The first is that the SEC has announced that they are widening their investigation of the rapidly-exploding mutual fund scandal to the top 15 brokerage houses, alleging a vast payola scheme for pushing mutual funds of dubious value on unwary investors.

The other one is yet another body blow to Putsch's credibility. The administration admitted today that they have a memo written by Saddam Hussein, apparently after the invasion, warning his troops and Iraqis in general to avoid entanglements with al Qaida and other jihadists. The memo makes clear that Saddam regarded the fundamentalist Moslems as enemies of his secular regime, and clearly felt they were as great a danger to Iraq as the Putsch administration was.

So we can file Putsch's miaows that Saddam "supported terrorism" in the garbage can, along with the claims that Saddam had or was developing weapons of mass destruction (the admin quietly pulled the last of the team seeking such weapons out of Iraq last week), or that he had anything to do with 9/11, or that attacking Iraq would make America safer.

Some day Putsch is going to surprise me and say something honest.

With any luck, it will be, "Please, I don't want to be convicted of being a war criminal."

Posted: January 14, 2004


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