The night before Christmas in Washington - by Val Magnus

Twas the night before Christmas in old Washingtown
The Capitol and White House infested with clowns
Cheney in his bunker Bush ecstatic
For winning again thanks to religious fanatics
Out on the lawn Bush demanded a manger
He searched for a wiseman among numerous strangers
Bush pondered acquaintances from the pool on the hill
Yet no wiseman appeared none could pass the bill
Bush needed a virgin he'd not be chagrined
Condee?
Lara?
The Anheiser Twins?
Bush went into a state of mortification
Every virgin had departed to an undisclosed location
So, Bush thought of the animals
Ah, Rumsfeld, how sweet, wrapped in the hide of a white, wooly sheep
While the rest of the cabinet could grunt and moo
Who'd be the ass?
By George, it's you!