Twas the Night Before Christmas 2025 version
@realdonaldtrump
By RJ Crane, editor

Twas the night before Christmas,
And a demented fat louse,
Nodded at his desk in his gilded White House,
Surrounded by wealth wanting to kiss the ring,
Of someone they had chosen as their MAGA king;

They brought presents all wrapped with promises and hope,
That these gifts were enough to entice this dope,
They lauded him with praise and promised more treasure,
But unable to provide him with any sexual pleasure;

Now back in their planes they slept in their beds,
While visions of more wealth danced in their heads,
Confident they succeeded in capturing their King,
Aware his thirst for grift would continue to ping.

Then all of a sudden he heard lots of chatter,
And sprang from his desk to see what was the matter,
Outside on the lawn you could hear his staff cheer,
Watching Hegseth and Kavanaugh chugging down beer;

Then what to his wondering eyes did appear,
Jeffrey Epstein in a sleigh with young girls drawing near,
Jeff looked reborn and lively and slick,
But everyone knew he wasn’t St. Nick;

And he whistled and shouted; and called them by name,
“Come; Daisy! Come Daphne! Come Prancer and Vixen!
And; Cara! And; Cupid! And; Mandy and Blixen!
Through the doors of the White House! To a bedroom inside,
Come right away! right away! right away all!”;

So into the White House everyone fled,
All the girls in the sleigh; him; and Epstein to bed,
And then; in a twinkling; there were sounds of sex,
With the groaning and squealing and whatever came next;

With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
The MAGA king knew he had nothing to dread,
He spoke not a word; but went straight to his work,
Making sure every young girl gave his member a jerk;

And then laying his fingers ‘round his small member,
He gave a another jerk to release all the splendor,
Epstein then dashed to his sleigh; to all his girls gave a whistle,
And away they all left like the down of a thistle;

And he heard Epstein exclaim; as he drove out of sight--
"Happy Christmas to all; and to Donald a great night!”